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I noticed some difference when Istopped the tranquilizers--I was somewhat less relaxed in school--but thehappy awareness that I had a pair of panties on under my boy clothes helpeda great deal. And changing clothes after school had much the same effectthat the tranquilizer pills had had. I think a pretty dress is the besttranquilizer in the world.****When Summer came, my parents rented a cottage at a lake. They had neverdone this before. It would make a nice story if I could tell you that oneday I discovered my dream meadow in my wanderings about the lake, but Imust stick to the truth: that meadow and stream never existed outside mydaydreams.We spent two weeks there, and the important thing is this: at the cottageI dressed and lived like a girl all day long, every day. A year earlier, Iwould have hated this and fought it tooth and nail. But now I enjoyed it.Enjoyed it? No: I loved it! I loved the way my little girl shorts lookedand how my pretty Summer blouses looked. I. She was working the night shift, when I got sprung from the hospital. So she stopped by on her way home. At first she just helped me around the house, since it was such a hassle to get all my shit into her SUV. She also brought biscuits from Hardee’s in those early days.Toward the end of May she was driving me to the grocery store. I really don’t think she trusted me to drive there alone. During almost every weekend Mica and, or Janet stopped by. I never asked what was happening with them, I just took them out to a nice dinner.Jon came by now and then, to work on the car wash, during that summer of pain. Durham artist co-op sold season one of ‘That Bitch Tory’ to something called the global TV network. They had to rush, but they got it on the air starting in the fall. I had a built in bias, but I liked the show before it even aired.All my giant strides in getting back to normal petered out by the middle of August. The walker had been replaced by a newer, shorter, but just as stout,.
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